Monday, March 22, 2010

Thankful

As my pregnancy is coming close to it's final days (11 days and counting!!) I can't help but think about I lucky I am. I think about the journey we took to get where we are today... all of the fertility treatments, heartache, stress, hope, fear, amazement... and then I remember where we are today. In just a few short days we will have a baby. A little tiny human being who will be ours to keep. The joy is so emotional and overwhelming. At a few points in my life I never thought that would happen. It seemed unreachable and foreign.

I'll never forget the day I found out I was pregnant. It was a Sunday morning and I couldn't sleep because I was too anxious and nervous. Once I took the test my heart skipped a beat. Was this for real? It was like I was dreaming. I was shaking with excitement, hesitation, precaution, joy.... awe. The past nine months have flown by but I feel like I remember each month so clearly and destinctly. (which is amazing because I can't seem to remember which side the gas tank is on for my car! haha!) Of course with your first pregnancy you do tend to document everything.

I guess the reason I am thinking about these things is because I see my close friends going through the same battle I went through when trying to conceive. I see the hesitation and hope in their faces when they've just completed a treatment... trying to stay positive but don't want to get their hopes up for fear of another disappointment. I feel for them so strongly I can't help but hold back the tears. I want this for them so badly it hurts. I can't do anything to help them but I hope they know that I felt the same way, and I'm living proof that it can happen and sometimes you just need the right tools in order for it to work.

Fertility is an amazing and unpredictable science. Hopefully some day in the future couple's will not have to go through the pain of wanting a child so badly only to have hurt and disappointment every month that it hasn't happened for them. Just don't give up...

1 comment:

Kathleen said...

hopefully you can be a beacon of hope for them, now that you've been on both sides of the fence. I only know what it's like on the one.