Thursday, February 5, 2009

Everything happens for a reason?

You know the saying "Everything happens for a reason" you really believe that is true? Are we just along for the ride and everything else is planned out for us or do we actually have control over everything that we do?

I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I would've actually gone to California for school to achieve my goal in the fashion industry, would Matt and I be together today? Or what if he would've taken the job in Boston, would we be living in Ohio again or make Boston our permanent home? All of these things play out to make us who we are today so what's to say we are in complete control of everything that is going on in our lives.

When I was growing up I had plans and certain things I expected to happen in my life. First I wanted to work in the fashion industry and move to California to attend school. Shortly before moving (I actually had everything planned) I chickened out. I felt like I would lose myself out there and the thought of being alone thousands of miles away from my friends and family, I just couldn't do it. So life continues, I then change courses, work full time and go to school part time to decide what I wanted to do with my life. I was an 'undecided' major for the longest time. Matt and I moved to Texas for his job (only a year) then when we moved back to Ohio I felt a passion to go into nursing. I took all of the pre-requisites to get into nursing school and felt I was on the right track. Little did I know I would never pass the entry test that would get me into nursing school. I searched for other schools to attend only to be put on a 2 year waiting list. I decided I needed to have some sort of degree to my name so I just went with an associates degree. Nothing special. I just desperately wanted to be done with school.

Here I am today. I do work at a children's hospital but I am not a nurse. In computer systems actually... who would've thought?!

I'll never know what would've happened if I went to California but it also frustrates me to think if everything happens for a reason why do we try so hard to make things happen?

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

continuing... cautiously...

I've learned I need to be more conscience of what I say for fear of hurting people's feelings. I never mean to, I just do. I type without speaking it aloud, so that it doesn't sound too harsh, basically. Things that I have blogged about have sometimes appeared more abrupt and harsh than I actually mean. In my head it sounds perfectly fine to me.

So I guess you could say I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm going to be cautious of what I'm saying, and if I've offended you I truly am sorry. I've always thought of myself as a nice person, but recently I've considered otherwise. I may even make this blog private one day in case I change my mind... so if you do read and I would love to know who actually does read this thing, please let me know so I can add you to my email list.